BOOK REVIEW
Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides
Geoffrey L. Cohen
W.W. Norton, 2022
Reviewed by Johny Van Aerde, MD, PhD
Belonging matters throughout the lifespan, from cradle to grave. In Belonging, Geoffrey Cohen offers a sociopsychological perspective on something all of us struggle with at one time or another — whether we belong. Besides sharing plenty of good research studies and narratives, the book is also written very pragmatically; it’s full of suggestions and solutions.
There are three parts: science and art of situation-crafting, causes and cures, and fostering belonging in all walks of life. While the first two parts offer both new and well-known concepts in social psychology, the last part applies these concepts to various aspects of life, including school, work, health, policing and community, and politics.
Sometimes people feel that they don’t belong, even in their own group identified by gender, skin colour, religion, political belief, or other factors, real or perceived. That feeling of not belonging is a source of many of today’s social ills. Cohen offers examples and skills to help people feel they belong in groups where they might otherwise not, allowing them to thrive among those they view as “different” or who view them as “different.”
“Belonging uncertainty” is the idea that a situation can largely impart a person’s sense of belonging in a community and is related to the idea that perception is reality; yet the same situation can be experienced totally differently by two people with different backgrounds. Belonging has more to do with situation or context than with people and their personality traits. This means that, individually, each of us who is part of a situation shares some of the power of that situation, which can be changed by our words and deeds.
Creating situations or putting people in situations that reveal meaningful ways they can contribute to a positive purpose is the most effective way to get people to feel they belong.
Cohen describes how a wide variety of belonging-focused interventions can help with “situation-crafting.” Creating situations or putting people in situations that reveal meaningful ways they can contribute to a positive purpose is the most effective way to get people to feel they belong. The key to curing insider–outsider dynamics is crafting situations where all participants are on equal footing and working toward a common goal. Turning “them” into “us” means that everyone has to learn from everyone else, regardless of background or prior performance. Wise interventions are not about manipulating people; they are about enabling or catalyzing prosocial behaviour and developing beliefs that can create positive environments. For example, mentorship benefits minorities in an academic or professional setting, particularly if the mentor is of the same background.
Stereotypes and fundamental attribution error (FAE, over-emphasizing a person’s behaviour in making assumptions about their character) are particularly potent, situation-dependent triggers of belonging uncertainty and are independent of our identity markers. That’s where perspective-getting comes in. Rather than take the perspective of others based on stereotypes and FAE, we need to ask good questions and practise deep listening, i.e., use the skills of dialogue to develop our own perspective. It not only gives us a better understanding of each other, it also conveys to people that we are genuinely curious about who they are, which fortifies their sense of belonging and helps them perform to their full potential.
Part 3 of the book is entitled “Fostering belonging in all walks of life.” Not every reader will care equally about every aspect of life in which we can apply the concepts described earlier in the book. However, the chapter “Belonging and health” is particularly interesting because it connects the research of The Good Life1 (previously reviewed in CJPL2) on relationships, loneliness, and health with belonging and wise practices. One baffling finding remains: level of belonging and loneliness affects even the conserved transcriptional gene response to adversity, which contributes to the physiological stress cascade with all its health and disease consequences. Also interesting is the chapter “Belonging and politics” because it elaborates on the fact that the desire to belong is a major force in polarization, dehumanization, and demonization, leading to conflict
on a larger scale.
In summary, everywhere in our social life, we can create the feeling of belonging and community. Each of us can change the world in small ways. We can shape situations to make them less threatening and more welcoming, allowing people from all walks of life to feel that they belong and can thrive. Whether you are a formal or an informal leader, inside or outside the health care system, this highly recommended book is for everybody because it is full of evidence-based tools and skills to create spaces of belonging.
References
- Waldinger R, Schulz M. The good life: lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness. New York: Simon and Schuster; 2023.
- Van Aerde J. The good life: lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness (book review). Can J Physician Leadersh 2024;10(1). Available: https://cjpl.org/the-good-life/
Author
Johny Van Aerde, MD, PhD, FRCPC, is former executive medical director of the Canadian Society of Physician Leaders and founding editor of the Canadian Journal of Physician Leadership.
Correspondence to: johny.vanaerde@gmail.com
